Tools & Hardware
by Prince Dirk Blackpool

Hi.

Welcome to my little corner of the aperans.com site. My immediate, personal goal is to make your stay here as unpleasant as possible, using the many tools of torture and hardware available to me.

If, after my little demonstration of their impressive features, you wish to purchase your own set -- all the better. I assure you that any and all of your Tools & Hardware purchases will help fund my war against Greystone and Baaldorf -- 100%. No silly castle improvements or leather pants as I'm sure *some* people are going to use their gains for. Really, the lack of civic responsibility that some people exhibit is quite appalling.

At any rate, we'll be starting you off on the rack. You'll be quite a lot thinner and taller, but one can never be too rich or too thin, can they? Just let me fetch the manacles...

What? That's the tenth customer I've lost today! And I didn't even get a chance to say 'bye.'

(Webmaster's note: Please forgive the dark prince for his overly enthusiastic pursuit of the use of the tools and hardware. We're working with him on appropriate boundaries of inflictable pain, but he's got quite a lot of issues, poor thing.)